How to start Dating after a Breakup
Dating after a long-term relatively successful relationship is tough in your emotions, even if you are anxious to “get back out there.”
You have to put your training wheels back on, but the terrain is entirely different than you remember it. And so, are you in theory. If you are fresh out of a relationship and don’t know when, if, or how you should start dating again, here are some tips from Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. a licensed Clinical Psychologist and relationship expert.
It may take some time practice, but getting ready to date again, can be a rewarding process! Are you ready to read our Tips? Go ahead!
1)RECOGNIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF HEALING BEFORE MOVING
If you don’t take time to process your relationship, you will not be emotionally available, when you start going on dates. The grieving process is essential, and if you don’t follow it through, you may end up comparing your new date to your last partner.
2) GET CLOSURE
To get closure and give yourself license to explore your identity again, you must fully believe the past relationship is over. DO whatever you need to do, to prove that the relationship is truly dead.
If you were dumped, meet with the other person to hear her/his reasons, for breaking up with you or watch him/her in a new relationship.
If you are the one trying to get out of the relationship, stop all contact with the former partner, move to a new location, or recall how much he/she damaged you, or held you back.
3)ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU NEED PHYSICAL RECOVERY
Studies have shown that your body actually experiences physical pain after a long-term relationship ends. This is because couples often end up dictating one another’s biological rhythms. This means disrupted sleep, loss of appetite, and change in rates of temperature and heart rate. Instead, to have all of that, you can exercise.
4) ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU NEED MENTAL RECOVERY
More than physical recovery, mental recovery is key to moving on. A breakup affects the way you perceive yourself and you level of self-esteem. Studies show that clearly defining who you are after breaking up, is the most important part of being able to move on.
Try “dating yourself by going out to Restaurants alone, seeing movies you like, and attending events you enjoy. You may even start to enjoy being single, because you get to do things your former partner didn’t like.
5) AVOID BLAMING YOURSELF
The more you focus on longing for your last relationship and regret how it ended, the worse your future will be. To move on, you must practice self-compassion.
Focus on how it’s best to forgive the other person, rather than blaming yourself for how it ended, or play the “what if” game.(Repeating alternate scenarios in your mind).
6) LEARN FROM THE BREAKUP
No matter how it ended, choosing to learn from the mistakes both of you made, will help you be more successful in the next relationship. Examine yourself closely for mistakes you made and determine not to repeat them again. Be smart when you analyze yourself!
7) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS
One way to help yourself forget the last relationship and focus on the present is to build a network of close friends.These friends should be on your side and ready to help you find a new love.
8) BRUSH UP YOUR FLIRTING SKILLS
There are many ways to attract someone with looks and actions. If you haven’t date in a while, it is a good idea to recall these ways of interacting with a love interest in order to keep him/her interested enough to give you a chance.
9) GET IN A MINDSET TO HAVE FUN
At first, dating should be a lighthearted, even where to people enjoy each other for who they are, without worrying about the future.
If the desire to get married is in your mind, avoid discussing this for at least a few dates, because this is a serious topic that can instantly change a lighthearted time, into a heavy one.
10) MAKE A LIST OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
If you are looking for a fun-dating relationship to have the potential for a serious one, you should probably try to date people who fit your desire profile. Setting up on an online dating profile is an easy way to make sure someone fits the characteristics you want.
11) CHOOSE A FUN LOCATION
To promote your goal of having a lighthearted time, try to schedule dates for fun locations. Being in a place where other people are being lighthearted, can set the mood for fun, just as being in a location where couples are being very serious can turn your date into the same.
Going places that don’t specifically cater to couples like an amusement park, skating rink, or arcade, can take your mind of the date and focus it on playing and having fun!
12) DRESS UP
Even though you are not trying to get serious yet, that doesn’t mean you aren’t trying to attract a potential partner. Dress tastefully and attractively to help your date enjoy being with you.
13) BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Believe that you are worth dating, and the other person will too. Developing a mindset of self-worth, before you go on a date, so that you can project a confident image when you meet someone.
14) BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR KIDS
If you have children, you should be very cautious about the dating process. It is probably best to keep the dating aspect of your life hidden, until you are serious about someone.