How to Move Out After a Breakup
By Eric Ward
Moving out after a breakup can be one of the most upsetting processes of splitting from a loved one. Picking up belongings and coming to agreements on who should take what can be incredibly challenging to process and go through. However, by being kind to yourself and utilizing the support networks you have in place, you can help to make the process much easier.
Keep a calm space
Whether you refer to it as a calm space, or a safe space – keeping somewhere for yourself that isn’t charged with memories or emotional conflict will help you to find solitude outside of your current situation. Whether you find a café to sit and read or people-watch, or a friend’s house to spend time in positive company, creating a place that is free from turmoil gives your brain a much-needed rest from the upset that can follow a painful breakup.
Be factual, not emotional
Even though possessions are superficial to some extent, it’s perfectly normal to feel emotionally connected with some of the belongings you might be parting with. If you’re concerned you won’t be able to split your assets without becoming emotional; it might be a good idea to write down a list of absolute must-haves and items you can potentially live without. Sorting through old belongings with your ex could cause unnecessary arguments if you go in without any forethought. It’s also good to remember that you are not being forced to separate your belongings as a result of failure. When you look at divorce statistics, you’ll realize that it’s just not the fault of one person in the relationship – what you are experiencing is entirely normal. By maintaining this rational approach, you can help to ensure the moving out process is even-sided and less likely to be the cause of arguments.
You will need emotional support when you finally move out of your partner’s old place. Even if you manage to keep a calm head during the official business of moving out, you may need a shoulder to lean on afterward. On top of the emotional side of things, you may need some practical help. Inviting friends to help you with moving out your old belongings will help the task feel much less daunting. Whether it’s a marriage that’s ended or a long-term relationship, your friends will be the backbone of your support. Ensure that they are not just a shoulder to cry on, but also a practical help in the process. A familiar presence in the room can make the whole experience of moving out the last few belongings much less intimidating.
Breakups are never easy, whether you’re finalizing a divorce or ending a short-term relationship. Whichever you’re going through, remember that you are not alone. Not only to almost half of all marriages end in divorce, but you have access to advice and legal help if you need it. On top of formal help, you should also use your friends – this is when they will really come into their own!