Mission Possible: The Maid-of-Honor Guidebook

Part therapist, part fashion stylist, schooled in Emily Post etiquette, toastmasters-qualified with the flair of a seasoned travel planner. Not many positions in life require the sort of je ne sais quoi that the Maid of Honor title bespeaks. Some will run for the hills, buckling under the pressure. Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Maid of Honor. And, oh, what an honor it is.   

Weddings are a time of high stress for the immediate wedding party. Brides go into overdrive looking over every detail, while grooms tend to shy away from the transformation their fiancée has made into small world dictator. Parents want to be honored, involved, or won’t let go. It is the Maid of Honor who has to keep a level head. There are five main components to the Maid of Honor position. Follow them, and you will go down in history as the bride's pillar of strength, the Louise to her Thelma, the Lisa Turtle to her Kelly Capowski. Fail, and you may get the cold shoulder before the last champagne flute has clinked. 

Mission #1: Keep Things Organized

Get to know the major players: fellow bridesmaids, the wedding planner, parents of the happy couple, and the person in-charge at the venue. Start a group email or message thread with the bridesmaids to help with the bachelorette party planning, dress fittings, and anything involving necessary group funds. Brides rely on fancy wedding planners and online sites like The Knot, but blow away your competition and pick up one of these: your own Maid of Honor planner. This is an invaluable resource that you can customize to preserve your own memories of your bestie’s big day.

To be Emily Post wedding-ready, know the when’s, where’s, and what’s of perfect wedding day execution. When do you take the bride’s bouquet from her? What is the procession order for the bridal party? And who makes the first toast? Make an official cheat sheet and don't forget it.  

Mission #2: She Said Yes and So Do You

Make friends with your bride's Pinterest and Etsy accounts. Peruse the bride’s saved dress pins, floral arrangements, and table-setting likes. Have your pulse on what the bride loves, so when the monumental dress fitting day arrives, you won’t stick your foot in your mouth trash-talking how passé sleeveless dresses are when the bride has 75 pins in that exact style. Remember, you are a yes-woman until she says "I do." Become the Martha Stewart meets Rachel Zoe bridal dream team you know you can be.

This sounds like the impossible: ooze seamless creativity while helping her select that perfect dress… and pull off whatever bridesmaid dress she picks out for you. But it’s not as hard as you think. Memorize these two words: "Love it!" and you should be fine. Scour Etsy for that elusive moss covered candle holder that she can’t find anywhere. Create a book with words of wisdom, recipes, and stories from friends and relatives. Make a wedding morning getting-dressed playlist taking her down memory lane. Do something unexpected, and be there for her. That’s all it takes to be her personal Mindy Weiss.

Mission #3: Throw a Bride-Specific Bachelorette Party

Gone are the days of schlepping it to Vegas for a no-holds-bare raunchfest. Today’s classy brides are spending their last days of laissez-faire life savoring what it means to be uniquely them. Spend a weekend touring vineyards in Paso Robles, check in to a spa for some stress-relieving pampering, or plan one last epic girls-only sleepover. It’s important to honor the bride by spending her bachelorette weekend doing what she loves and not what the bridesmaids want.

For the adventure-seeking bride, think outside of the box and relive the glory days you spent together at Girl Scout camp. You can choose your own adventure in the completely luxe Mercedes Sprinter Vans at Bliss RV in the Palm Springs Area, and Luxe RV will deliver the tricked-out van to you anywhere in California. For less planning on your part, try Epic Private Journey to Catalina Island. This completely prearranged getaway takes a small group through a guided weekend of hiking, swimming, and kayaking with meals included. 

If rolling the dice in Vegas is an absolute necessity for your bride, fear not. The Stiletto Spy School can take you from Maid of Honor to Mi6 Agent before the wild dares begin. One to four day weekends can be customized to bridal parties who want to learn how to hold their own should they ever find themselves in a poker game for their lives. Our favorite plan is the Swords and Sipping package, which includes a lesson in samurai sword fighting, teaches the sizzling Argentine Tango, and finishes with Argentinean wine tasting.  

Mission #4: Keep the Party Going

Bear two things in mind at the reception: pictures last forever and nobody likes an empty dance floor. Before you have that sixth glass of Rose, imagine yourself in the wedding album. The mascara-running, messy bun, shoeless wonder. Don’t be that girl. Have a good time, just maintain the Maid of Honor’s oath to keep your cool. Should the dance floor lull after the DJ plays a downer, be the first one back out there to keep the party going!