Five Characteristics of an Ideal Partner - The Ultimate “Love List”

How can I know the perfect partner for me? 

Where should I direct my attention when looking for the ideal partner? 

If I had a penny for every time I heard a question like this, I'd be competing with Elon for the title of the wealthiest man in the world. 

Look, I understand that this is a high stake decision for anyone. And I'm saying this from experience – because I once made a mistake with a previous relationship. 

But hear me out.

There is no magic spell or potion to know the right one 

But…

I'm not saying you should take a blind leap of faith to see where it takes you. I know that humans are good at pretense – and I know that sometimes, people change too.  

That said, some green-flag characters might still be positive indicators when you want to commit to a potential partner. I call this the "Love List." 

In this post, I'll share the seven (7) items on my "Love List," borne out of my knowledge as a psychologist and life coach, along with the dramas and lessons from my personal experience.  

1. Easy emotional connection

How deep do you feel connected to this person?

I mean, physical attraction is incredible. And so also are sharing similarities. But beyond just having fun together and having surface-level convos, do you feel deeply connected on a soul or emotional level to this person? Do you think they also feel connected to you?

• Do you both care about each other's needs and concerns?
• Do you guys share things openly and LISTEN to each other?
• Do you think you know each other deeply enough?
• Is it a 50/50 partnership between you two?

I'll leave the answers to you!

2. Respect - goes both ways!

You've got dreams and goals of your own.

You have a distinct personality and a kind of uniqueness that might take someone else patience, understanding, and love to tolerate. This is primarily true for everyone. And this is why respect is vital.

• Does your potential partner respect your boundaries?
• Do they seem understanding enough?
• Do they care about your standards, ideologies, and thought process?
• Are you sure they can't shame or degrade you in public, no matter what happens?

If you answer no to any of the questions above, likely, they might not be the ideal partner for you. Remember, respect is reciprocal, and it goes both ways. 

3. Trust and loyalty - are very important

Love can be blinding - and I agree.

However, if you would commit to anyone, you shouldn't make the mistake of going down the road with someone you don't trust. It's like buying a property you've never seen physically - you'll never know what to expect. 

When considering a potential partner, it's always better to look past the hypnotism of your romantic attraction to decide whether or not this is someone you can vouch for as far as trust, honesty, and loyalty go. 

 4. Common interests 

Maybe they never told you, but the truth is. Life is always easier when two partners share similar interests. What this means is that you'll see eye-to-eye on many things. You will also have fewer fights and disagreements over hot-button topics when you want similar things, including religious or political ideologies, lifestyle choices, decisions, hobbies, interests, etc.  

5. Personal preferences and standards

No one person is perfect, but it's okay to have or set personal standards. 

There may be certain considerations and decisions you'll have to make on a personal level. This has more to do with your personal standards and other things you want than significant character traits. 

Perhaps you'd prefer a partner with a bubbly personality or one with a more laid-back vibe. While you probably will have a hard time finding someone who ticks off everything on your checklist, you'll also want to ensure that your choice of partner does not completely stray off course - as far as your personal standards and preferences go.  

Conclusion 

People are often so fixated on red flags that they don't even recognize what the green flags look like. While it makes sense to know the red flags so you can easily avoid the nightmare of a bad partnership or relationship, it's also important to know what a happy and healthy relationship looks like. All five qualities and characteristics highlighted above are needed to make any relationship or marriage work - beyond the short term.